


fell star (and those that keep it lit)

by fearthedeeer



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Found Family, Gen, i just really love my fawns okay, team as a family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 13:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21055337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fearthedeeer/pseuds/fearthedeeer
Summary: **Chapter 9 Spoilers**“So. Which one of you thought, after the recent and sudden death of my father, that faking a deathly disease of one of students was the best way to get me out of my room?”Byleth is grieving, and her students don't know what to do about it.





	fell star (and those that keep it lit)

**Author's Note:**

> i promised myself i wouldn't replay fe3h for at least a month so take this from my creative dump as i wean myself off talking about the golden deer at all times.

_ No matter where they turn up, you’ll always be in their shadow. _

Jeralt had said that once to her, in jest. Hilda had just been caught sneaking out of the dormitory and was facing a stern lecture from Hanneman by the time Byleth had gotten word. She’d rushed out on a conversation with her father in order to stop  _ that _ situation from happening. Not that Hilda was the one she was afraid for; rather scholarly Hanneman, his crest and research making a completely vulnerable target to the worst that Hilda could offer.

She’d walked into the room just as Hilda was saying, “ _ Really _ , Professor Hanneman, a delicate flower such as myself could use a hand carrying her groceries from the shop late at night-” before Byleth’s glare had her close her mouth immediately.

“Professor Hanneman,” Byleth started, bowing politely. “Please let me take over here. She is my student, after all, and I would appreciate the opportunity to practice fair punishment.”

Hanneman looked taken aback. “Certainly, but I was just about to-”

“Thank you, Hanneman. I appreciate your thorough work in the disciplinary action at the Monastery.”

This seemed to appease the scholar, and he bid the two goodnight without further complaint.

Hilda rounded on her professor in an instant, her face mischievous. “I never knew how much you ‘ _ appreciated his thorough work in disciplinary action’ _ , Professor. Such kind words to get your lovely Hilda out of trouble.”

Byleth frowned. “Don’t start, Hilda. We both know you weren’t out of bed at midnight to get  _ groceries _ .”

Hilda laughed. “Gosh, look how expressive you’ve gotten! I can practically feel your disapproval. Worry not, illustrious teacher, I was actually trying to find Marianne. Our rooms are close to each other, you know, and I didn’t hear her come in from prayer after dinner. I’m  _ worried _ .” She pouted for effect. “You’re welcome to join me, now we’re both awake!”

Byleth internally prayed to the goddess for patience. “Hilda. Marianne is home visiting her father, which we both know. Please stop lying to me, and I’ll let you go back to your dorm.”

Hilda rolled her eyes, not the least bit contrite. “Fine, fine. You know, you never used to be this talkative? I think Claude has been a bad influence on you.”

“ _ Hilda _ .”

“Yes, yes, I get it! No more midnight strolls! Roger that!” As casually as ever, she left the room. Byleth observed her walk back to the girl’s own room and raised her eyebrows when Hilda sheepishly looked over her shoulder to check she was still being watched. Only when the door closed did Byleth sigh and start the trek back to her father’s office, Jeralt smirking to himself as she reentered the room. She frowned at him, and he held his hands up in mock innocence.

“Hey, I didn’t tell you to pick the Deer. I’m pretty sure I specifically told you  _ not _ to pick the house of idiots.”

Byleth sighed at her father. “We both know they’re not stupid. They’re too smart for their own good, honestly. Or did I not hear correctly that Claude managed to pull a prank on you yesterday?”

Now it was Jeralt’s turn to frown. “Little punk.” He muttered, obviously holding a grudge. “Who would have thought to put wyvern droppings in a  _ curtain rod _ ? It took me three days to figure it out!”

The faint tug of a smile appeared on his daughter’s lips, and Jeralt’s features softened. “They’ve changed you, even in this short amount of time.” He said, unknowingly echoing Hilda’s statement from not even an hour before. “It makes an old man content, to see you happy like this.”

“I have a purpose here. Not that I didn’t with you but... it feels different. Right.” Byleth pondered how much to tell her father, about the long nights spent talking to Lysithea about battle tactics, about her frustration at Raphael’s lack of study and joy when he finally passed his latest exam. About Marianne’s talent with a lance, though she still stammered through her words. About Leonie and her gift for making everything a competition. Ignatz and his paints, Hilda and her knack for teaching, the look on Lorenz’s face when Claude did something that defied all sense (and sometimes gravity). She settled for something simpler. “I have a home with them. One that I didn’t have with our mercs, no matter how hard you tried. I feel almost normal, here.”

Jeralt’s smile was sad but fond. “You really were the Ashen Demon, before. Drifting through enemies like a wraith and our ranks like a ghost. As much as I’ll miss it, I’m glad you’re happy here. Don’t think for a second we won’t leave if that changes, though. And most importantly-”

Byleth raised an eyebrow. “-  _ don’t trust Rhea _ . Yes, Captain. I remember.”

He grinned at her again, bidding her goodnight. On the walk back to her dorm, she pondered the first thing she had said to Sothis, when they’d first talked.

_ Who are you? A ghost. _

It had been true, then.

_ Dramatic child. _ Sothis chided softly, always so quiet at this time of night.  _ You always had far too much bravery to be a ghost. _

Byleth internally rolled her eyes at the goddess, who swatted away her complaint before falling into a slumber.

She liked waking up each morning, butterflies in her stomach, eager to start the day, to teach her kids, to fall exhausted into bed after a sparring match with Felix (who would join her class one day, she could just  _ tell _ ). Byleth felt herself changing and growing, in a way she hadn’t before. It was  _ exhilarating _ .

But then-

Her father died.

* * *

The rain kept falling, just like Jeralt had.

Byleth had carried her father back to the Monastery herself, her students a silent progression behind her. It had taken Raphael and Hilda, the most physically strong of her brood, to pull her away from the body. His body. Her father’s body. Her father.

Her father was dead.

_ Dead. _

“Teach, I…”

_ Dead. _

“Please, Professor,  _ talk to us- _ ”

_ Dead. _

Someone took him away from her arms. To prepare him to burial, she supposed, and she didn’t resist. Once he wasn’t there to anchor her ( _ he wouldn’t be, not ever again _ ), she felt suddenly exhausted. She hadn’t stopped crying since it had happened, and her students were still around her, watching, worried, eager to help. But all Byleth really wanted was to go to her room and lay down and not wake up, so she left them to their worry. Sothis was waiting for her already, her little face solemn and as tear-streaked as Byleth’s own.

_ Oh, little one. I’m so sorry. _

Byleth collapsed into the goddess’s arms and sobbed all night.

* * *

She didn’t leave her room for two weeks, and her students attempts to visit increased almost hourly. Their excuses bordered the ridiculous as the days went on. Lorenz, firstly offering his best ‘grieving tea’, resorted to ‘needing help with a painting’, a sentence prompted by Ignatz who was too shy to knock on her door by himself.

Claude and Hilda were less subtle. The former stating how much he  _ missed _ his beloved professors’ eyes, and Hilda threatening to knock down the door. “I may be a lady, but you’ve seen my arms. I could crush this door like a  _ bug _ . Don’t make me do it-”

She assumed the struggle that ensued afterwards was Leonie telling the two to  _ bugger off _ , she’s  _ grieving _ and  _ needs her rest! _ Jeralt’s squire hadn’t tried to talk to her, thankfully; Leonie’s brashness reminded Byleth too much of her father’s full-bellied laugh and boisterous personality, so soon after his death. She also suspected Marianne had left bird seed on her windows, so she’d wake up to birdsong. The act was so sweet that it almost bought Byleth to tears.

It was Lysithea that brought her out of her room though, in the end.

* * *

It was no secret that the youngest student of her class was her favorite, despite her claims of equality. But her little owl, who could take down a knight with one swish of her hand, reminded Byleth so keenly of what a sibling might feel like that she sometimes choked on it. Sothis had some theory that she might have had a sibling if her mother had survived, a little brother with hair like hers and eyes like thunder. Byleth generally ignored her muttering that went off in tangents on multiple occasions, but she liked to listen to the ‘what if’s’ of another life. She felt for Lysithea what she assumed was like the love for a younger sister, and Lysithea glowed under her tutelage.

So really,  _ of course _ it was Lysithea who got her running out of her room.

Petra, who wasn’t even in her class, alerted her to the situation. “I’m apologetic to disturb your rest, Professor, but Lysithea… somethings is not well with her. Will you please accompany me?”

Byleth thought about her little mage with two Crests, and what  _ unwell _ could mean with the little time Lysithea had left. “Of course, Petra. One moment.”

She got dressed for the first time in days, opening her window and letting the light stream in over her bed. Sothis stirred a little at the movement, opening an eye to see what was happening, before closing it again and settling back to sleep when she saw Byleth changing into her clothes. Byleth didn’t bother with much else; her hair was a mess and her eyes were still red-rimmed, but none of that really mattered. She opened the door to Petra’s expectant face, which was a refreshing change to the looks of pity she had been getting when she went to get food at night. Byleth supposed Petra was used to losing the people she loved- moving to another country and being under the Empire’s strict surveillance meant she couldn’t talk to her family anymore.

She let the student lead the way, growing increasingly more concerned as Petra led her in the direction of the infirmary. Byleth smiled tightly at Flayn along the way, who squeaked and took off in the opposite direction towards Ignatz, who was lingering in the hallway.  _ Huh. _

This probably should have been her first warning, but she was too worried to take notice. Upon entering the infirmary, Byleth first took notice of most of her students lingering around a bed that she couldn’t see, faces grim. Leonie and Raphael were missing, with Ignatz entering moments after she did.

Claude turned to her, face grim. “She’s been asking for you, Teach. Come closer. I think your presence might ease her pain.”

She approached the bed slowly, nerves settling in her stomach as her students parted for her. Lysithea was on the bed, still. Her face was deathly pale, with dots of red covering her cheeks and arms. Byleth sat quickly on the chair facing the girl, taking her hand softly if not to disturb her. Lysithea exhaled and stirred slightly, her face set into a small frown that Byleth was so used to teasing her about after a particularly grueling seminar.

However, the girl’s movement placed her face in a patch of sun streaming through the curtains of the room, highlighting the paleness and red splotches and… Byleth blinked.  _ Was that powder? _

She frowned and took a closer look at her face, not noticing Marianne’s desperate glance at Hilda and Lorenz rolling his eyes in exasperation behind her. Byleth ran a finger softly over Lysithea’s cheek and rubbed her finger and thumb together after, noticing the white and red staining together. She sighed.

“Lysithea.”

No movement.

“ _ Lysithea _ .”

Squinting through her eyelashes, Lysithea took a quick peek at her professor before meeting her eyes and shutting them again quickly. Byleth raised an eyebrow and turned in her seat to the rest of the Golden Deer.

“So. Which one of you thought, after the recent and sudden death of my father, that faking a deathly disease of one of students was the best way to get me out of my room?”

The infirmary erupted into uproar immediately.

“It was Claude’s idea!” Hilda screeched, using a startled Marianne as a shield when Claude turned to her, mouth open to argue, before he was instantly interrupted.

“If you leave us unsupervised for more than three hours, we all get stupider and stupider.” Lorenz said, sniffing.

Leonie and Raphael said nothing, standing guiltily at the back of the room when Lysithea suddenly jumped up and engulfed Byleth in a hug, almost in tears. “I’m so sorry! We couldn’t think of any other way to get you out of your room, and-”

“ _ I _ suggested we let you stay in there. It’s what I would prefer!” a voice squeaked from under the bed.

Byleth sighed again, this time at the newest member of her class. “Bernadetta, please come out from under the bed.”

A mop of unruly purple hair emerged, her eyes huge and regretful. “I’m- we didn’t mean to scare you, honest! I just-” Bernie squeaked again and put her face in her hands.

Byleth reached out and patted the top of her head gently. “It’s okay. I know you aren’t the mastermind behind this particular scheme.” She looks pointedly at Claude, who grinned cheekily back with his telltale smile.

“Look, Teach. Be as mad at us as you want, but you needed to get out of that room. You were so lost in your head; it was like you were talking to another person.”

Byleth frowned. Her student was closer to the truth than he realized.

Claude continued. “The last few months might have been disastrous for you, teaching wise, but we’ve all grown so much with your knowledge. And you aren’t the same mercenary we met at the start of the year either, you know. You used to be, uh, more… uh…”

“Emotionally constipated!” Hilda supplied.

Almost all her students nodded their confirmation.

“You should be proud of the effort we put into this little ruse, you know.” Claude stated in a matter of fact tone. “We even came up with a fake name for Lysithea’s fake disease!”

“And you all thought I wouldn’t have heard about this so called disease in my travels?” Byleth replied dryly.

“I mean, you do have almost no knowledge of the Church of Seiros.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m  _ stupid _ , it means I haven’t been educated in it!”

“Here they go again,” Leonie muttered to Ignatz, who huffed a laugh.

Marianne detached herself from Hilda’s clutches and hesitantly approached her teacher, taking her hand. “We didn’t know what else to do, professor. I apologize if it’s caused you any worry, but the way you were acting… it was like when you first arrived here. You were very empty then, you know.”

Sothis huffed a breath of surprise.  _ I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard that one talk. _

A small smile graced Byleth’s lips when she realized that Marianne had actively sought out to start the conversation.  _ My, how you’ve grown. _

Claude’s focus narrowed in on the change in her expression. “We’re off the hook.” He stage-whispered to the person closest to him, who happened to be Petra.

The Brigid princess frowned. “What hook?”

“Never mind.”

Byleth stroked Lysithea’s hair one final time before, convinced that she was no longer upset, standing up. Her student’s eyes immediately glued themselves to her in suspense of her next words.

She opened her mouth to start lecturing them, but instead started to laugh.

Full-throated laughter that hurt her stomach and had her students looking at her in horror. Claude, of course, looked smug at the reaction, but Byleth thought Leonie and Bernadetta were going to faint, such was the shock that was showing on their faces. Raphael had a small smile of his own, muscles relaxing now he knew they weren’t in trouble, and Lysithea and Hilda started to giggle along with their professor.

Sothis was not as amused as her host.  _ This is stupid. I’m going back to sleep. _ This sent Byleth into hysterics again as the goddess mumbled disapprovingly about  _ in her day _ and  _ they should be punished! _

Once she could control her laughter, however, Byleth started to glare at Claude who held his hands up in defense. “Please, for the love of the Goddess, scheme alone in the future. I think it’s better for everyone’s mental stability.”

Claude grinned slyly at her. “Aw, you know you don’t mean that. Aren’t you the one always harping on about friendship and rainbows?”

“Teamwork, Claude. It’s called  _ teamwork _ .”

“Yeah, yeah. So, what, are we grounded? Curfew cut? What punishment has the all mighty Ashen Demon come up with for her naughty, naughty students?”

Byleth smiled. “You have to clean my room for me.”

Most of her students looked relieved, but Petra shuddered a little after remembering the state that she had seen it in this morning. “Oh. Oh no.”

Hilda scoffed. “How bad could it be? We got this.”

Her students slowly filtered out of the infirmary, Marianne helping Lysithea wipe off the white paste on her face as they walked in the direction of the dormitories. Her wonderful, somewhat misguided, kind-hearted Deer.

She remembered her father’s words from months ago.  _ I’m glad that you’re happy here. _ This was what happiness was, truly, for Byleth. Lingering just behind her people, watching them grow, helping them blossom. They’d helped her father’s death rest a little easier on her shoulders, and she knew some part of her would always be grieving.

But for now?

This was enough.

_ They _ were enough.

And so Byleth followed them, as she always would.

**Author's Note:**

> this is actually my first post on ao3 so be kind <3


End file.
